INDECENCY IN DRESSING

The hype and hullabaloo has been long in the news. The noise has been huge and leaders of opinion have severally volunteered their perspectives on the issue of what decency or indecency connotes with regards to dressing. From a latent issue it has metamorphosed into a vibrant discourse. As it waltzed its way through the social spectrum it has succeeded in raking up enough controversy across ideological divides.
This controversy has been hinged on the confusion surrounding opinions on the issue. But what does dressing connote and at what point does the term indecency come into the picture? To answer this it is important I invite my readers through time back to the days of Eden. God himself is the first Designer and Clothe-Maker. It is understandable that some may wish to differ on this but that does not eliminate the fact of it. Dressing, fashion and all that they imply have their origins in an intelligent design that can only be explained as divine. From the original design of providing cover for the human anatomy, dre4ssing has e evolved down through history into a crazy fad and a universal issue. With the fragmentation of human habitation into continents and into subcontinents, countries, local communities, races, ethnic nationalities, cultures and subcultures, dressing has assumed diverse styles, patterns, formats, ETC.
Colour, designs, textures, etc have all served to create distinct cultural identities. Not only that, they have come in handy in the design of uniforms identifying professionals in diverse fields of endeavor and other ramifications of human existence. Beauty, harmony, interaction, and a host of other qualities that enhance humanity have been profoundly highlighted by dressing. The benefits clothing, nay dressing has afforded the human context are indeed overwhelming and unquantifiable. Clothing and dressing serves the purposes of covering the body, defining identities, accentuating beauty, promoting cultural dynamics and highlighting the diversity inherent in humanity. Obviously from the foregoing dressing brings a lot of good to the human context and the harm can be huge when it is perverted in indecency.
To hold that modernity has impacted much on dressing is to state the obvious. What today is referred to as indecency in dressing is the result of the interaction of so many different factors. One of them is the arrival of western culture at the doorstep of many different nations that were hitherto unaffected by the drift in morality. The past few centuries saw the spread of this imported culture in dressing which reflected many aspects of Western culture being brought to different parts of the world. As colonialism spread and was later succeeded by neocolonialism so did western fashion trends find their ways into different cultural settings across the world. Another one was that the developed world scouting for new markets across the developing world brought their wares into Africa, Asia, the Caribbean’s, etc. also the technological revolution which brought the television, computers, the internet, mobile phones, home videos, provided so much for people around the world to mimic as long as the fashion was concerned and the economic gains accrued. Beauty pageants, fashion shows, showbiz personalities, public figures, political icons, etc also brought so much influence to bear on dressing so much so that the dividing line between what was modest or immodest, decent or indecent became so blurred that contemporary youths now find it difficult charting moral coordinates in between.
Indecency, for all purposes, represents the opposite of decency. It implies indecency symbolizes what is not decent, proper, responsible and acceptable to the collective social sensitivity to morality- the collective conscience. When applied to the issue of dressing, it means that mode, form, style, pattern or way of dressing that is not decent, proper, responsible and acceptable. It defeats the very purpose of dressing. For the benefit of the layman, it means any type of dressing that does not properly cover the body(at least the sensitive parts of the body), or enhance the moral content of society and is suggestive. It matters not who is involved here.
Dressing such as displays sensitive aspects of the human body (stomach, navel, back, laps, cleavage, breasts, etc) are indecent. These include clothes like the spaghetti, mini-skirts, backless dresses, sleeveless shirts, transparent or perforated clothes, low-necks, etc. these types of clothing not only demeans the whole essence of dressing but also calls into question the morals rectitude of the wearer. It leaves a warped image of the wearer in the mind of the beholder.
The price of indecency is shared amongst all concerned – the wearer, the beholder, and the larger society. While the wearer bears the brunt of stigma associated with indecent dressing and struggles to mount a defense mechanism or coping approach, the beholders of such indecency suddenly find themselves in a situation where there moral sensitivity is insulted and that with impunity. They strive on a daily basis to avoid images they would rather be spared of. Also, they face the temptation of emulating what is morally debasing or accepting it as a norm.
The larger society suffers more in that with indecency in dressing paraded everywhere – at home and on the streets – comes the challenge of containing the fallouts of the former. Cases of rape, sex-related violence, pornography, loss of moral values, etc have been traced to indecency in dressing.
Whatever are the opinions of the perpetrators of indecency in dressing, the broader picture of the negative impact it would have on society needs to be considered. We all have choices and the more we make informed and responsible choices, especially with regards to decency in dressing the better our society will become.

Godswill Odeku
odekuga@yahoo.com +2348057879764

AIDS and Nigeria’s Rural Youth

AIDS and Nigeria’s Rural Youth
Godswill Odeku
08057879764 odekuga@yahoo.com www.enigmareports.blogspot.com/aids&nigeriasruralyouth

It is no longer news that Nigeria’s sero-prevalence rate stands at 5.8% and that it is growing. While new cases of infection are drastically reduced in urban and semi-urban localities due to increasing awareness, it is spreading like wildfire in the rural areas. More and more new cases of infection are popping up especially amongst the youth population.
Even these new cases are a trickle of available data given the fact that obtaining adequate and accurate information on the rate at which AIDS is spreading in Nigeria’s rural communities is such a difficult issue. This is because the rural areas are not only hard to reach but the terrain is tedious and even the local people are not willing to volunteer information relevant to the AIDS issue. This can be attributed to the lack of adequate grasp, on the part of the locals, of the issues surrounding the AIDS question.
Looking at the rural communities with special focus on the Niger Delta, one can appreciate why new cases of infection are happening all the time. Nigeria has a dual topography. One aspect of it is mainly dry land while the other is riverine riddled with creeks, rivers, rivulets, swamps, and mangrove forests. While the upland is a bit elaborate and easy to access and susceptible to development, the riverine areas are a difficult terrain, densely populated and steeped in demographic incongruities.
The focus of this article is the impact AIDS is having on the riverine communities spread across the southern fringes of Nigeria better known as the Niger Delta. There are approximately a 100 communities running from Ondo State in the South-West of the country to Akwa Ibom State in the South-South. These communities reflect different ethnic nationalities (Ijaw, Ilaje, Yoruba, Urhobo, Itsekiri, Ikwerre, Etche, Ogoni, Andoni, Efik, Ibibio, etc), speak diverse languages and sublanguages and subscribe to varied social experiences.
For many of these communities their means of livelihood is derived from fishing, farming, trading, and art works. The terrain is laced with difficulties ranging from inadequate means of transportation, uncharted forests rife with wild animals, mosquitoes, and others. This is where about 70% of youths in the Niger Delta live. Without adequate education, without social amenities, plagued by ignorance and poverty, enmeshed in infection-predisposing factors, and exposed to obnoxious belief systems and practices, it is not a matter of conjecture why these constitute the majority of AIDS victims.
Beyond these overarching factors, there are other minor yet serious ones that facilitate the rise in the rate of HIV infection. One of these is sexual networking among adolescent boys and girls where a group of adolescents network to share or have sex with a particular individual of the opposite sex. A group of boys take turns to have intercourse with a particular girl or a group of girls take turns to have it with a particular boy. And this is done without recourse to the risks associated with such abnormality. Many times the girl involved becomes pregnant without knowing the actual boy who did it since everyone of them had her. On the other hand, some or all of the girls who engaged in that orgy of sex could become pregnant for the same boy and this obviously translates into major alterations in the lives of both the girls and the boy or boys in question.
Another factor is the proliferation of sexual partners by a particular individual. A girl goes on having several male friends with whom she has sex on a regular basis or even at random as the occasion demands, so to speak. Or it could be a young man who strings along with several girls, having sex with them whenever he deems necessary.
These are situations that precipitate infection with HIV and the rapid spread of the virus in the rural areas. And this goes on amongst the youth population. One basic fact about this is that each individual in such network suddenly becomes a lethal carrier unleashed on society, howbeit covertly.
With the prevailing socio-economic environment in the rural areas many youths are predisposed to fall for unwholesome indulgences. Many girls come from poor homes and sometimes are under intense pressure to accede to have sex with one or more men to make ends meet or have their needs met. Almost always, these amorous relationships do not accommodate safeguards against HIV infection. Partners hardly make informed decisions regarding prevention against infection and pregnancy. In some areas, not only are condoms not available, majority of the people are ignorant about its uses or advantages.
So girls just go on having sex with men either on the premarital or extramarital basis or even in cases of early or forced marriages. And given that positive masculinity is foreign to many communities in this country, the young girls have to bear the brunt of pain inflicted by their partners during intercourse, lacerations to the vaginal walls, infection with HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancies, premature delivery, incontinences arising from compromise of the yet immature birth canal, stigma associated with one or more of the above. All these depict the trauma, dilemma and challenges the Nigerian youth in rural communities have to grapple with.
The process of redressing these unfortunate circumstances is no doubt Herculean. Yet a lot can still be done. First, there is need for information and behavioral change communication targeted at the youths in the rural areas. This can be done through awareness creation and sensitization in the hard to reach localities. This is to acquaint them with issues such as abstinence, positive sexuality, early sex debut, partner reduction, Bonne (good/real) fidelity, dangers of premarital/extramarital sex, correct and consistent condom use, routes of transmission, etc.
This information can be utilized to motivate change and build awareness on critical issues. This change is necessary with regards to beliefs, values and attitudes that predispose and facilitate infection among young people; attitudes towards the infected and affected by AIDS (de-stigmatization/stigma-reduction); negative to positive sexuality and openness to discussions about sexuality; and changes in values, beliefs, and attitudes towards women.
Motivation can also be effected in the aspect of inducing change from irresponsible to responsible or positive masculinity – making men understand and appreciate what it entails to be a man and a father.
Added to the aforementioned is the advocating of the rights of adolescents and children with special focus on that of young girls. Issues affecting women and children with regard to HIV/AIDS needs to be appreciated and given the necessary impetus. This is consequent upon available data suggesting that more women (especially the youths) are being infected and affected by HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections.
Considering the difficult terrain, monetary cost involved and the logistics of it all, it would no doubt call for concerted efforts incorporating the government, corporate bodies, civil society organizations, private individuals, and other stakeholders to make the outreach to youths dwelling in the rural areas a dream come true.

Stigma: Metaphor of Death for AIDS Victims

Imagine a girl walks into a classroom, greets her teacher and the class, and begins to walk to her seat, only to be called back by her teacher and asked before the whole class if her mother who is HIV- positive has begun treatment. She replies that her mother has begun. The teacher asks her to move her things from her present seat to another, where from henceforth she would be sitting alone. As the students go out for lunch-break, other students begin to rain questions on her and some even go the extent of avoiding her all because she has a mother who is HIV- positive.
She tries to cope for a few days with the taunting and coldness being meted out to her, and when she could no longer cope, she stops coming to school. Since she is unable to let her parents in on what is bothering her due to their lack of consideration, she devises alternatives to school. She wanders to strange and lonely places to while away the time. After school hours she would come home with other teenagers as if she was coming from school. With time, her parents get to know and mete out some harsh treatment to her without reaching down into her emotional being to unravel what is ailing her. She feels her family doesn’t understand and do not care about her feelings and leaves home. While she wanders along she meets some man who listens to her tales and offers her some succour and shelter. He takes the time to listen again and again to her stories and with time she begins to feel comfortable in his company and relaxes her vigilance. Soon one thing leads to another and they have sex. Soon the rate of intercourse increases between them. With time she begins to experience some symptoms she can’t explain. They go for a test. The medical authorities as a matter of policy test her for HIV, pregnancy, etc. It is discovered that she is pregnant. Not only that, she is HIV-positive.
Unsettled by such development, the guy makes off leaving her to wallow in her misery. Suddenly, she finds herself in a dilemma which she was not prepared to handle. Several options play out in her mental spectrum and the most promising of all is to end it all. With no one to provide her with needed counseling and support, she commits suicide and there ends the tragic chapter of one of Nigeria’s youth by just an ounce of thoughtlessness manifested in a stint of stigmatization.
It is common knowledge that AIDS kills. Not only AIDS, tuberculosis, measles, malaria, diabetes, cardiac arrest, sickle cell anaemia, cholera, diarrhea, and a host of other medical abnormalities. Apart from these medical monsters, there are many other things that kill or reduce life to something a little above death. But when viewed from another perspective it cannot be said that this medical absurdities kills faster than stigma associated by society to certain medical conditions.
Stigmatization – the act or policy of labeling and/or branding a person or group of persons as socially unacceptable due to a medical condition, religious or other belief, racial identity, or other reasons – is a major cause of death for many Nigerian youths who are infected by AIDS. It is important to state as clearly as possible that for one to be infected AIDS or has AIDS does not make him or her less than a human. He retains his/her dignity as human person. He is still flesh and blood like the rest of us. Most times, it is bias, bigotry and prejudice which are a spill over of the absurdities of our socio-cultural and socio-religious belief systems, values, attitudes.
Some hold though erroneously that AIDS can only be contacted through sex and this the perverted aspects of it, viz – premarital, extramarital gay, etc. Since these are held as anathema both in our cultural ethos and religious circles, it becomes evident why AIDS victims should in the same vein be accorded anathema status.
Another aspect of this anomaly is the belief that AIDS is divine retribution meted out to the wayward. Nothing can be further from the truth. Some subscribe to this fallacious purview and manifest it in the stigmatization of anyone who is infected by the virus. Sometimes this stretches into the public domain, where people in authority use dictions and language that not just suggestive of stigmatization but very offensive at face value.
The young people of this nation are the most affected by this stigmatization issue. For the infected, they are stigmatized and treated as outcasts. They are looked upon as morally debased individuals who could not control their sexual urge and have consequently contacted HIV/AIDS as a just recompense of their dissolute lifestyle. This smacks of crass ignorance, as there various routes of transmission of the virus. Besides sexual intercourse, AIDS can be contacted through the use of any piercing instrument, through transfusion of unscreened blood, and from mother to child during childbirth, delivery, and/or breastfeeding in the first three months.
For the affected such as people affected by AIDS (PABAs) and orphans and vulnerable children (OVCs) it is an all-inclusive branding where the children, relatives and other family members of the infected are labeled as social outcasts for no other crime but that one of their own is infected with HIV. in schools, workplaces, organization, and other places, they are subjected to harsh and unpleasant treatments and attitudes. this needs not be so.
It is important for everyone to appreciate the fact that just a single act of thoughtlessness and lack of consideration can go a long way to precipitate disastrous catastrophes which could engulf the rest of us. there is need for all to understand that it is a member of the human family that the stigma is being directed at. no one deserves to be associated with any form of stigma, not even AIDS victims. they deserve the best of our cordiality, care and consideration. where we do not treat them as such we are only fast-tracking their early death.
The statistics are there for all to scrutinize and ascertain for themselves what havoc stigmatization is wreaking on youths who are infected by AIDS. Even when a person is infected with HIV, it would take some months for the virus to completely undermine the individuals immune system and result in full blown AIDS. at the stage where it has metamorphosed into AIDS it would still take about 10 years for the person to die. and this is depending on a lot of factors – how strong the individual’s immune system is, the person’s hygiene regime, the antiretrovirals at his/her disposal, the emotional reservoir he/she can draw from at such critical period, and many other factors.
Given the above and looking at available medical data, it is a fact that there are even other deadlier diseases that kills faster than AIDS. Cholera, diphtheria, diarrhea, and malaria kills faster than AIDS. So it is unnecessary and inhuman stigmatizing AIDS victims, especially the youths.

AIDS and Nigeria's Rural Youth

It is no longer news that Nigeria’s sero-prevalence rate stands at 5.8% and that it is growing. While new cases of infection are drastically reduced in urban and semi-urban localities due to increasing awareness, it is spreading like wildfire in the rural areas. More and more new cases of infection are popping up especially amongst the youth population.
Even these new cases are a trickle of available data given the fact that obtaining adequate and accurate information on the rate at which AIDS is spreading in Nigeria’s rural communities is such a difficult issue. This is because the rural are not only hard to reach but the terrain is tedious and even the local people are not willing to volunteer information relevant to the AIDS issue. This can be attributed to the lack of adequate grasp, on the part of the locals, of the issues surrounding the AIDS question.
Looking at the rural communities with special focus on the Niger Delta, one can appreciate why new cases of infection are happening all the time. Nigeria has a dual topography. One aspect of it is mainly dry land while the other is riverine riddled with creeks, rivers, rivulets, swamps, and mangrove forests. While the upland is a bit elaborate and easy to access and susceptible to development, the riverine areas are a difficult terrain, densely populated and steeped in demographic incongruities.
The focus of this article is the impact AIDS is having on the riverine communities spread across the southern fringes of Nigeria better known as the Niger Delta. There are approximately a 100 communities running from Ondo State in the South-West of the country to Akwa Ibom State in the South-South. These communities reflect different ethnic nationalities (Ijaw, Ilaje, Yoruba, Urhobo, Itsekiri, Ikwerre, Etche, Ogoni, Andoni, Efik, Ibibio, etc), speak diverse languages and sublanguages and subscribe to varied social experiences.
For many of these communities their means of livelihood is derived from fishing, farming, trading, and art works. The terrain is laced with difficulties ranging from inadequate means of transportation, uncharted forests rife with wild animals, mosquitoes, and others. This is where about 70% of youths in the Niger Delta live. Without adequate education, without social amenities, plagued by ignorance, enmeshed in infection-predisposing factors, and exposed to obnoxious belief systems and practices, it is not a matter of conjecture why these constitute the majority of AIDS victims.
Beyond these overarching factors, there are other minor yet serious ones that facilitate the rise in the rate of HIV infection. One of these is sexual networking among adolescent boys and girls where a group of adolescents network to share or have sex with a particular individual of the opposite sex. A group of boys take turns to have intercourse with a particular girl or a group of girls take turns to have it with a particular boy. And this is done without recourse to the risks associated with such abnormality. Many times the girl involved becomes pregnant without knowing the actual boy who did it since everyone of them had her. On the other hand, some or all of the girls who engaged in that orgy of sex could become pregnant for the same boy and this obviously translates into major alterations in the lives of both the girls and the boy or boys in question.
Another factor is the proliferation of sexual partners by a particular individual. A girl goes on having several male friends with whom she has sex on a regular basis or even at random as the occasion demands, so to speak. Or it could be a young man who strings along with several girls, having sex with them whenever he deems necessary.
These are situations that precipitate infection with HIV and the rapid spread of the virus in the rural areas. And this goes on amongst the youth population. One basic fact about this is that each individual in such network suddenly becomes a lethal carrier unleashed on society, howbeit covertly.
With the prevailing socio-economic environment in the rural areas many youths are predisposed to fall for unwholesome indulgences. Many girls come from poor homes and sometimes are under intense pressure to accede to have sex with one or more men to make ends meet or have their needs met. Almost always, these amorous relationships do not accommodate safeguards against HIV infection. Partners hardly make informed decisions regarding prevention against infection and pregnancy. In some areas, not only are condoms not available, majority of the people are ignorant about its uses or advantages.
So girls just go on having sex with men either on the premarital or extramarital basis or even in cases of early or forced marriages. And given that positive masculinity is foreign to many communities in this country, the young girls have to bear the brunt of pain inflicted by their partners during intercourse, lacerations to the vaginal walls, infection with HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancies, premature delivery, incontinences arising from compromise of the yet immature birth canal, stigma associated with one or more of the above. All these depict the trauma, dilemma and challenges the Nigerian youth in rural communities have to grapple with.
The process of redressing these unfortunate circumstances is no doubt Herculean. Yet a lot can still be done. First, there is need for information and behavioral change communication targeted at the youths in the rural areas. This can be done through awareness creation and sensitization in the hard to reach localities. This is to acquaint them with issues such as abstinence, positive sexuality, early sex debut, partner reduction, Bonne (good/real) fidelity, dangers of premarital/extramarital sex, correct and consistent condom use, routes of transmission, etc.
This information can be utilized to motivate change and build awareness on critical issues. This change is necessary with regards to belief, values and attitudes that predispose and facilitate infection among young people; attitudes towards the infected and affected by AIDS (de-stigmatization/stigma-reduction); negative to positive sexuality and openness to discussions about sexuality; and changes in values, beliefs, and attitudes towards women.
Motivation can also effected in the aspect of inducing change from irresponsible to responsible or positive masculinity – making men understand and appreciate what it entails to be a man and a father.
Added to the aforementioned is the advocating of the rights of adolescent and children with special focus on that of young girls. Issues affecting women and children with regard to HIV/AIDS needs to be appreciated and given the necessary impetus. This is consequent upon available data suggesting that more women (especially the youths) are being infected and affected by HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections.
Considering the difficult terrain, monetary cost involved and the logistics of it all, it would no doubt call for concerted efforts incorporating the government, corporate bodies, civil society organizations, private individuals, and other stakeholders to make the outreach to youths dwelling in the rural areas a dream come true.

OVCs: Mitigating The Trauma

As the AIDS discourse gathers momentum across the African continent, we find a unique population emerging and gaining numbers. This is the population of those negatively impacted by the AIDS pandemic. Sadly, Africa claims the lion share of this unfortunate group with 13.2 million orphans - children who, before the age of 15 have lost either their mother or both parents to AIDS – which constitute 95% of total AIDS-generated orphans worldwide. This population is comprised of individuals whose parents (one or both) have become, not just victims but casualties of AIDS. By this I mean they have died as a result of HIV/AIDS infection.
As these are lost to death courtesy of AIDS, left behind are a host of individuals whose lives are automatically altered by such an unfortunate development. They include both nuclear and extended family members who have to adjust to accommodate the loss of a family member to AIDS.
Apart from other relatives, there are the children of those demised through AIDS who constitute the nucleus of those we refer to as PABAs or People Affected By AIDS. These, almost always, are children and youths who are very tender in age and are still at the stage of understanding themselves and their surrounding environment.
These suddenly become orphans and must now have to adjust to the harsh realities of life without a parent, without a breadwinner and without the protective social umbrella they have enjoyed all along while their parents were alive. It is due to these that they are referred to as vulnerable children.
Imagine a child who suddenly has to fend for himself because the little resources the family had has been exhausted on the treatment of the now dead parent or guardian. Imagine a little girl who suddenly has to cater to needs of her siblings while she is yet to appreciate her personality and all that goes with it. Imagine a little boy who now has adulthood foisted on him and now has to shirk his youth and assume responsibilities of a man due to the loss of his parents. These images, you will agree with me, do not give one cause for comfort!
Ordinarily, the challenges orphans have to grapple with in our society are overwhelming, but these challenges appreciate in the case of AIDS-generated orphans and vulnerable children (OVCs). Wherever they turn, children who have lost a mother or both parents to AIDS face a future even more difficult than that of other orphans. Not only do they find it difficult mixing up with the larger society, they also find it a huge challenge meeting their basic needs. This is consequent upon their being discriminated against by social institutions, work setups, and even ignorant family members who believe they share the plague of AIDS with their dead parents. Stigmatization, no doubt, is a monster that stares orphans and vulnerable children (OVCs) in the face and trains tears in their eyes.
In Africa as a whole, AIDS is generating orphans so quickly that family structures can no longer cope with the strain. Traditional safety nets are unraveling as more and more young adults die of this disease. Families and communities can barely fend for themselves, let alone take care of orphans and moreso orphans whose parents have depleted the collective resources of the family or community in the quest to salvage their lives.
Life in the Nigeria on a good day is a hard life without basic social amenities, adequate means of livelihood, institutional failure, corruption and a pervading pessimistic outlook on life. Hope has long taken flight and has been replaced in the present with despair in many communities across the country. Thus coping with the additional strain of catering to AIDS orphans, for both individual families and communities, is a Herculean task.
With discrimination and stigmatization at their doorstep, it becomes evident what a harsh life these youths and children orphaned and rendered vulnerable by AIDS must now contend with. It is to say the least a sorry state of affairs these young ones find themselves enmeshed.
These circumstances foisted on this peculiar population having impacted negatively on them place them with very difficult and unpleasant options. For the boys, cultism, hooliganism, violence, armed robbery and other sordid vices suddenly become very attractive. The girls on the other hand, having more constraints to grapple with in their young lives than the boys, somehow either fall for sexual predators, child/women traffickers or go outrightly and deliberately into full-scale and unfettered prostitution or other forms of criminal activities all in the name of survival. However, for those who dare to be different and won’t concede to dissolute conduct, they have to suffer for real or work very hard and be paid a pittance to make ends meet. Not to talk of the discrimination and stigmatization that will attend their attempt at making life go on.
So having heard it all, what is to be done with these unique individuals whose destiny is at the mercy of society. What should be the impact mitigation interventions offerable to them? First, I deem we can form a consensus on the fact that whichever way the lives of these children and youths turn will impact severely on all of us. If they become responsible adults tomorrow the society will benefit. But where they turn out to be criminals and social liabilities everyone of us will have to grapple with what they can do either as armed robbers, street urchins or militants. Consequently, it becomes obvious that we (governments, corporate bodies, civil society organizations (CSOs) and individuals) are all stakeholders in the circumstances and destiny of AIDS orphans.
There is need for all concerned to take a more than cursory look at the circumstances OVCs find themselves. A lot needs to be done about these children and youths in the area of providing them with social safety nets. More than ever before these young ones need a means of livelihood. Initiating skills acquisition and computer literacy programmes, entrepreneurship and wealth creation initiatives and financing of small and medium scale enterprises can suffice. In the interim, government can avail them of subsidies in the areas of food, medical treatment and housing.
They need a soft landing with respect to their educational aspirations. Corporate bodies, government agencies, philanthropists, foundations, community development committees (CDCs), women groups, and other stakeholders can put together scholarships for these kids in order not to circumvent their educational development.
The society at large needs to be sensitized and given a re-orientation on the negative impact stigmatization can have on OVCs on the short and long term basis. It is also important that these children are not left to live on the streets or be exposed to the dangers of homelessness because no one would offer them a roof over their heads. These young ones can fall prey to ritual murderers, rapists, hoodlums, and other angels of the night. And this needs not be allowed to be. All aspects of our society need to rise to the rescue of these kids.

A GATHERING OF EAGLES!

When a crucial moments meet, it is not a matter of conjecture what next an action should be, or how necessary or urgent such action should be. I say this with regards to the annual interregnum in the academic calendar of the Nigerian education system at the primary and secondary levels. From the end of July to the beginning of September, Nigerian kids go home to have some reprieve from schoolwork, reappraise their performance in the just concluded session and prepare for the next academic session. Some kids will anticipate going on to the next class while some would inevitably repeat the previous class. Still there are those who would go from the primary to secondary level.
During this long vacation, many young people engage in various activities to while away the time. Some spend the period profitably but some choose to waste the time doing nothing significant. And yet these are the young people who form the bulk of the youth population of the great nation.
In-school youths, specifically those in secondary schools and those just out of secondary school combined with the rest who are learning one trade or the other in the workshops, constitute the huge percentage of the general population of young people in this country. This youth population added to those in tertiary institutions constitute the prospective leaders of this nation and those that will ultimately chart the course of her destiny in few years from now.
But the issue is that when one takes the youth into a collective whole and reviews their inclinations, activities and performances in recent times, it leaves one with certain trepidation. This is borne out of the turn of events in different parts of the country. Youth-related violence, examination malpractice, drug abuse, sexually-transmitted infections including HIV/AIDS, fast-eroding moral values, disrespect for constituted authority, unwholesome indulgence, and the lot are almost becoming synonymous with the character profile of our youth.
Recent events in the Niger Delta are no funny lullabies. Militancy exerted on the region by disgruntled and misguided youths has impacted negatively on the economic and social life of the nation and even the international community. The just concluded General Elections in the country saw irregularities laced with violence perpetrated by youths. Cultism and examination malpractice in our higher institution are another sad aspect of activities of our youth. Put together, these gives every conscientious Nigerian a source of concern.
Against this background and during this long vacation comes the YOUTH SUCCESS CAMP 2007, an auspicious event crafted for the youth across the nation. It is an epochal gathering tailored to meet the needs of a generation of youth who are facing and living with challenges their parents didn’t know. With the issues of poverty, new and incurable diseases, institutional failure, dearth of qualitative leadership, economic recess on a global scale, etc staring at humanity boldly in the face, there can never be a better time for such an event to come up.
This event is billed for August 21st through 25th of this year and would hold simultaneously in both the 36 state capitals and major towns in each state. The youth department of the deeper Christian life ministry is acting as convener and plans to execute this programme across the country in active collaboration with stakeholders such community leaders, civil society organizations, government agencies, traditional institutions, youth groups, professional bodies, security agencies, churches, and others. Everything possible is to be invested in the successful execution of the programme.
Across four days and eight sessions, speakers will address the physical, spiritual, academic, moral, and mental aspects of the youths. Speakers will be drawn from the academia, clergy, medical profession, security agencies, and other areas and will address issues such as HIV/AIDS, cultism, drug abuse, health, examination malpractice, academic success and morality. Leading the pack of speakers that will deliver papers across the various event venues will be Dr. William Folorunsho Kumuyi, Senior Pastor and General Overseer of Deeper Christian Life Ministry, whose messages to the youth will be relayed live via satellite downlink to the various locations.
Youths have potentials yet untapped and needs a forum such this to unveil themselves, develop their talents, groom their skills and be motivated for the next level. Participants will be drawn from every strata of the youth population. Everyone is invited.
A revolution on a major scale is about to be unleashed on the moral, intellectual and social fronts. God in His infinite mercies has earmarked the Nigerian youth to birth this revolution and the Nigerian people cannot sit back and watch askance. Everyone is concerned as long as the issue is youth-related and as such none should shy away from contributing his/her resources and effort to make this event a huge success. It will be a gathering of where youths will learn to fly high and soar to heights previously unattained. A real gathering of eagles!

THIS SUSPICION THING!

Have you wondered why a climate of suspicion pervades so many relationships? It persists amongst men and women alike. Men are constantly on edge that once their women are out the doors they are after some man somewhere. Women think their men are chasing some girl out there behind their backs. Once their partner’s phone number fails to ring, they must have switched off their handsets to forestall any interruption of their pleasure spree or detection of their location. If the line rings at the other end but no answer, then something amiss is going on.
Ladies constantly search their men’s shirt and trouser pockets with the hope of picking up something suspicious or incriminating while men always scroll through their spouses phonebooks and sms directory checking for any strange number or sms. Even funnier scenarios abound where ladies hug their men sniffing them for any strange perfume and vice versa. Every new action, dress or fragrance is scrutinized. In some cases it spills over into the public domain where some individuals (men and women alike) behave funny when someone exchanges greetings or pleasantries with their spouses in public. Looks, handshakes, hugs, gifts, phone calls, visits, appointments, etc are all seriously analyzed for any link to anything untoward.
This whole drama almost always leaves the victim in a state of dilemma. The unpleasant fallouts of this ugly situation are better imagined. Serious-minded, loyal and sincere partners have had to suffer in silence enduring and tolerating such unhealthy climate of suspicion. Some have been transformed into a ghost of their former selves while some have been pushed to the end of their tether leaving them with no option but to do what they’ve been accused of and damning the consequences. Once blissful and thriving relationships have been compromised or completely destroyed. The foundations of several marital unions have cracked exposing both parents and children to the unpleasant consequences of a marital crisis such as sexual abuse, drug abuse, dwindling academic performance, workplace emotional turbulence and lack of focus, depression, disillusion, etc. shared values have been compromised and unnecessary tension have suddenly sprouted in once serene atmospheres. But why? Why all these hullabaloo?
Why would two professed lovers who have pledged commitment to each other’s happiness turn around and begin to undermine that same happiness they have pledge to ensure? Two individuals come across each other. Somehow some interaction is initiated and goes on over time. They begin seeing each other once a while. Soon the “seeing” goes from one level to the next. Pledges and commitments come into the picture. Somehow, whether they live together or apart; married, about to marry or just flirting, their lives become entwined. Then suddenly this suspicion thing rears its ugly head.
Could be that one or the other partner suddenly comes across an old flame in the guise of an old classmate, co-worker, or ex-boyfriend and previously latent emotions begin to steam. Or this love at first sight bug bites one or the other partner and this reckless heart of humans begins to play tricks on its host. On the other hand, it may be that one or both partners are involved in socially-intensive careers that make them interact and keep correspondence with a lot of people. Maybe they are in the management cadre of their organization or in the PR department or other types of jobs that bring them face to face with individuals of diverse backgrounds, personality types and inclinations.
In this modern world of ours where socialization is evolving at a fast-paced manner: noble deeds are being appreciated, favours done are traced and rewarded, distinguished personalities are sought after and commendable characters are hardly left alone. If your partner is good and likable a personality, he or she would be sought after for friendship, for favours, for career upliftment, political appointments and other responsibilities. A gold fish never hides!
This should not constitute a surprise to anyone conversant with current social trends in our contemporary society. Social seclusion, isolation and mutual exclusivity are no longer in vogue. We all need each other to thrive and grow as individuals and as communities in this vast human family.
This piece does not in anyway suggest the non-occurrence of promiscuous escapades of some abstracted individuals nor does it imply even remotely that victims of such infidelity do not suffer pain on the emotional and physical fronts. Sometimes, self-conceited and irrational individuals apply violence to forestall any attempt to call them to responsible conduct thus doubling the suffering of their victims. Even individuals who are shown all the love and care possible within the human context still veer off into dissolute and immoral indulgences.
It would also imply running away from the truth to deny that such negative scenarios put most lovers on edge and generate understandable anxiety with regards to each individual’s relationship. Nobody wants it to happen to him or her and no one wants to be caught hapless. This state of apprehension has driven some to the extreme of a needless policy of suspicion. But the question remains whether it is worth the while, whether all that is invested in terms of time, money and emotions in keeping tabs on a partner’s track, sniffing around for any aroma of infidelity is worth it after all.
Whether the suspicion is voiced or implied through actions or inactions, it still generates the same degrees of pain in the victim’s psyche. And like it or not both parties suffer. Both lives and careers and emotions are subject to some distraction, interruption and perversion occasioned by this relationship-based suspicion.
Not only does this suspicion debase the whole idea of love, it also questions that fidelity that only love can engender and even goes further to strike at the foundation of that mutual trust and maturity the suspicious lover has by several words over time subscribed to. It is needless to refer to that responsibility consequent upon everyone in love towards his or her partner.
Let me state that it is not every man or woman out there that is itchy about a relationship let alone a flirtatious one. Let me also add that as much as no human on earth is ultra-perfect, not everyone is flirty and not everyone is abusing or debasing the mutual trust that is consequent upon shared love.
Where we have done everything right, where we have exhibited and expressed trust and where we appealed to the other’s sense of responsibility, it is needless initiating a pattern of suspicion. That someone accepts to jettison his or her isolation to go into a loving relationship with another does not qualify him or her for undue suspicion let alone funny and degrading accusations of infidelity. Some measure of maturity needs to be exhibited by all of us. Each of us deserves the benefit of the doubt and the highest trust possible within the human family.

NLNG and HIV/AIDS in Bonny Island

Somewhere at the edge of the Atlantic Ocean facing the Bight of Biafra sits the island of Bonny. This serene Niger Delta community has several historical and economic symbolisms for the Nigerian nation. It was the melting point of economic activities right from the 16th century. It serves as Christianity’s first port of call in West Africa. It is also home to so many illustrious sons and daughters of Nigeria. This significant constituent of the larger Ijaw ethnic nationality has her local dialect, Ibani spoken across her various communities. With a thriving traditional system and robust cultural heritage it stands out as one of the foremost local communities in Nigeria. Her traditional institution is headed by Edward William-Dappa Pepple who serves as natural ruler and Amanyanabo-in-Council and ably assisted by a Council of Chiefs headed by Reginald Abbey-Hart who is also chief and head of Captain Hart major house. Her political leadership currently rests on the shoulders of Nelson Ben Irimagha who bears the traditional title of Amasenibo.
The community is subdivided into two main segments – the mainland and the hinterland. The mainland is comprised of the Township, Sandfield, Iwoama, Orosikiri, Aganya, Ayambo, Akiama, Workers Camp, Finima and some outlying fishing settlements lying along the Bonny River’s coastline. The hinterland includes the villages that serve as home to indigenes of Bonny kingdom.
The social serenity of this community has pervaded for a long period down history lane until the advent of the NLNG here. The coming of the LNG Project to the island brought with it several social transformations which have created major concerns to watchers of events in the community. This $20bn World Bank project jointly owned by the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) and oil and gas multinationals operating in Nigeria was established with the aim of mopping up Nigeria’s gas reserves spread out across several oil wells in the southern part of the country. Sequel to a final investment decision (FID) by her owners in the year 1995, a consortium of engineering firms (TSKJ) was awarded a turnkey engineering, procurement and construction (EPC) contract to build the plant, gas transmission system (GTS) and the residential area (RA). Construction commenced in 1996 with a two train base project and by fall of 1999 she was ready to export her first cargo on October 9, 1999. So far the Nigeria Liquefied Natural Gas Ltd has 6 trains on ground and kicking and has contributed so much to the alteration of events on the island. The coming of the NLNG has been both a blessing and a curse. A blessing as it has so far provided, in the last ten years, ongoing means of livelihood for many individuals. It has also availed many tremendous opportunities for training, skills acquisition and acquaintance with international best practices in the construction sector and gas industry. It has also brought some development to the community which has served some positive purposes for the community. These development initiatives include social amenities such as roads, bridges, classroom blocks, boreholes, electricity, etc.
But it can be said that the coming of the project has been more of a curse than a blessing given the negative implications it has caused in the community. The siting of the project on the island has occasioned an influx of people into the community. This has been due to the streaming in of several engineering and construction companies that have been instrumental to the development of the project. With the attendant employment generation and the disposable income made available, a certain twang has been associated with the lifestyle of inhabitants. Purchasing power has been enhanced and as such it became possible for men to go after women and women to run after men. Thus sexual activity between men and women began to be on the rise and soon everyone who cared could have any girl or guy he or she desires. Pleasure-mongers were soon having a field day as more and more places of recreation and pleasure hunting began to spring up around the island from the Mongolo of those days to Bomcarls to the bush bars. Cable Road, Workers Camp and Monkey village became hot spots for illicit sexual escapades. There was money, real money, tax-free to spend. Caution was thrown to the wind and men and women cared less what happened after. What was important was getting laid. Then the HIV/AIDS monster came calling!
Soon the stories were no longer unwanted pregnancies and unwed mothers, it was that someone over there had contacted HIV and someone over here has died of AIDS. Before long the statistics were no longer looking very funny in the eyes of medical practitioners on the island. Sero-prevalence studies on the island were revealing a fast-paced spread of HIV and cases of full-blown AIDS were being witnessed all over from the General Hospital to the Health Center to the NLNG RA Hospital. The more tests were run the more sero-positive cases were popping up. It was no longer business as usual!
But outside the walls of the medical facilities life was going on as usual. Sexual activity was still going on as if nothing was happening. The appetite of individuals for illicit sexual relations was increasingly becoming insatiable. A traversing of the island at night would reveal the high rate of sexual promiscuity thriving on the island. On a visit to Workers Camp junction where you have a beehive of prostitutes, you find a lot of young men hanging around waiting for their turn to go have “a good time.” Why this high level of careless abandon to the issues involved with HIV/AIDS?
The reasons are myriad. But suffice to say that many of these men who come to work in the island leave their spouses behind at home or in the city and as such expose themselves to the temptation of flirting with readily available sex hawkers on the island. Others regard it as once-in-lifetime adventure to lay as many girls as possible before one vacates the human context. Still some believe you have to have whatever you can afford and since there was readily available and expendable disposable income, nothing stops guys from having the best out of life. Many of the women on the island are of the view that there was nothing wrong in having as many men as possible as long as the cash was flowing. A lady needs money for a lot of reasons. She needs to feed herself, clothe herself, make her hair, live comfortably, and even send some money home for the upkeep of the family. times are hard and thus a girl does not have to suffer in the midst of plenty when all that was needed was just her back on any bed or floor or wherever the prospective customer deems fit. That sense of shame that is characteristic of every woman has been thrown to the wind. For both men and women the coming of the condom remains a huge blessing to their runs as they would wish to call it. If one condom proves to be incapable of doing the job, you could fit in as many as three, four or five and life goes on. But can we say all of this is true in all respects?
I dare say this lack of caution is not just dangerous but very saddening. This is borne out of the conviction that issues related to sex do not just border on the economic context but also on the moral aspects. Sex is not a business venture to be attempted by anyone who was interested. But a sacred activity that should exist exclusively within the marriage context. Also, looking at it from the medical perspective, it is very precarious dabbling into sexual activity with just anyone. The interaction of blood or body fluids renders the participants vulnerable to infection of dangerous viruses and bacteria where the medical status of the individuals is not apparent to each other.
Several sexually-transmitted infections have been on the loose even before the advent of HIV. Syphilis, gonorrhea, genital herpes, vaginismus, Chlamydia, hepatitis B, genital warts, trichomoniasis and a host of other terrible life altering infections are spreading at an alarming rate. HIV/AIDS is the most murderous of them all as it targets the human immune system for destruction consequently rendering its victim susceptible to any and every infection. So far some 60 million people have been infected with HIV and about 20 million have died of AIDS. In year 2005 alone 5 million new infections and 3 million AIDS-related deaths occurred. It is a well known fact that very few options exist for the infected in Africa and Nigeria in particular. The vast majority of HIV victims have no access to adequate treatment and this is not funny. And women in particular have to watch it as available statistics indicate a high prevalence of HIV infection among females. On a particular day, five girls were tested for HIV in a certain medical laboratory in Bonny and of the five, four tested positive. At another time, ten individuals were tested and eight of them were tested positive. Six of the eight were young women between the ages of 18 and 25. The facts speak for themselves. Our doubting Thomases can take a stroll to the clinics, hospitals and medical labs to ascertain the facts before sticking ignorantly to their reservations.
AIDS is taking its toll on the African continent and no one should be left in doubt as to its horrendous consequences. False notions about HIV/AIDS are unraveling as time runs by. Something must kill a man does not mean anyone should be killed by HIV/AIDS. Sex with virgins or underage girls does not cure AIDS. Sacrifices, rituals, fetishes and other religious practices do not cure AIDS. Condoms are not 100% safe and AIDS no dey show for face. Girls and guys in Bonny island and everywhere else should exercise some restraint as regards their sexual escapades lest HIV/AIDS be their undoing.

Real Strength: Where does it lie?

Some man walks into his home and is met by his wife at the door querying his late arrival home. Not just that, she goes on to insinuate he has been in on another woman among several. She goes on to lace him with enough verbal insolence. Not giving him a chance at explaining himself, she walks out on him into the bedroom not affording him any of the duties a wife supposedly owes a husband who’s come home after a hard day’s work. The man stands aghast, rooted at the doorstep. If you were this man what would you do?
Some guys would be quick to tell me that all such a woman needs at such a time was a clean slap across the face. Sequel to a thorough blow-intensive beating that for a long while would keep her on the apprehensive. Others would aver that a good cane or belt or some other instrument would do a good job. Still some would prefer to just walk back out of the house and stay away for at least a week before going the direction of that house again. Different men, different responses!
Without meaning to insult the sensibilities of women, it is trite to acknowledge the tricky nature of feminine emotions and how spontaneous its verbalization can be. Very little things set a woman’s emotions rolling. It may just be a careless take-it-for-granted response from you or a divided attention when she’s talking to you. It may be seeing a female name in your handset’s phonebook or hearing a female voice on your phone. Sometimes, it could be your delay or lack of response to her inquiries or just some minor disagreement over a non-life-or-death issue. Trivia, you would say and they naturally would not argue it. It is a trivia-sensitive emotion. Women take their feelings and its dictates very seriously. They can excuse you for every other fault but not for trampling on or ignoring their feelings.
This explains why a guy’s “no” to their advances can’t be excused. It also explains why seeing you or supposing you to be dabbling with some woman out there can be a very touchy issue. Coming late from work for inexplicable reasons, not answering their calls, neglecting little things like their birthdays, a planned date, or some special event in their lives could generate some serious turbulence. All said, how does one respond when a woman’s emotions go gaga?
Someone said sometime ago that “power flows from the barrel of a gun.” This may be true on the political and military turf but not in a relationship. For those who subscribe to male-chauvinism and male-dominance in a relationship, whatever should be done to assert one’s authority over a woman in a relationship whether marital, business or otherwise is excusable. But the question remains as to what can be regarded as real strength. Is it physical exertion of energy in beating up a spouse or the exhibition of restraint in reacting to the unpleasantness of a woman’s emotional outbursts. For this writer, the latter can better be regarded as strength, real strength. It is a sign of weakness when a man or anyone at all instead of exercising some measure of self-control and negotiating his or her way through a dicey situation, he or she prefers to bulldoze his or her way through the situation.
Without assuming the absence of some dissenting opinion to my point of view, I believe the rise in cases of domestic violence (gender-based violence, to be exact) targeted at women and children would be halted if not obliterated were the menfolk to show some degree of real and responsible and positive masculinity. Everywhere stories of wife-battering are rife. It is either you see a guy slapping his girlfriend or a supposed husband beating the daylights out of a woman he has promised to love and cherish. Many times this abnormal behaviour has resulted in physical injuries or even loss of life. Always it has caused or deepened existing emotional injuries. Some women have responded by being depressed or reclusive or totally withdrawn. It even gets to the extreme where the behaviour is generalized, terming all men to be beasts - all alike with different faces. I think this is unnecessary.
Women are verbally-oriented no doubt and sometimes this verbal-orientation could be unsettling and tasking of a man’s emotions. Sometime ago someone (not this writer) said women think in a linear mode. I’m still researching to ascertain its veracity but sometimes you find a woman begins to talk and never veers off a particular line of thought until she has exhausted words and energy. Most times, a woman goes on nagging for a whole day or even week over a trivial issue inspite of every effort of her man to resolve the issue. These are scenarios most of us men are conversant with in our society and as such should not be allowed to throw us off-balance. But surprisingly some amongst us lose their cool and exert tremendous physical force on the women which is quite unacceptable and degrading of the nobility of manhood.
Almost always you find some man battering the lady he calls his “baby” or “babe.” When did baby-battering become an exciting pastime? Let the men exhibit some maturity in this respect!
Then some men would ask what should be a man’s response if insulted or verbally chastised by some woman. Should he swallow his pride and bear the insolence and quietly walk away? Should he forget his ego and go home to nurse his wounds? Should he inadvertently encourage his wife to go on with her wrongdoing by not responding to her whining and vituperations?
Well none of such is meant by this article. But it would help us to ask if a girl would accept to relate with a man if such a man comes beating her up. Would a woman who witnesses the battering of another woman by a man be favorably disposed to have an affair with such a man with animalistic tendencies? I’d rather assume that to be impossible.
Most women would agree with me that there are better ways of “teaching” a woman the lesson of her life. Likewise those who have mastered the art of managing women would acknowledge the fact that mere silence could be so unsettling for a woman than ten years of beating. Eating a woman’s food without appreciating it or at least commenting on it; failing to notice her as you walk by or feigning not to have heard her greeting; refusing to take her suggestions about your plans, mode of dress, appearance or anything else; failing to call, text, or e-mail her or failing to reply her text or e-mails, answering or returning her calls; refusing to comment on her appearance or dress; avoiding her face or eyes; keeping to yourself almost all the time and leaving her out of your activities or plans are all bitter pills that no woman would want to swallow. These and many more are funny experiences that are disheartening in the least for any woman any day. I can tell you more ways of handling troublesome women if you visit my blogsite. I mean very many other ways of bringing a woman to her knees without uttering a word or lifting a finger.
When a woman begins to behave funny you don’t have to heat up the polity of your relationship by overworking your emotions or even degenerating to the level of using violence to score your point. Women, no matter how forward or potty-mouthed they appear to be, are weaker than men and are very vulnerable, very vulnerable. Let men learn to respect that as it would be in their best interest. Let all violent tendencies be put behind us. Another aspect of this is the use of derogatory or harsh words on women and its implications on relationships. We’ll talk about that in our next issue. Or you can visit our blogsite to see more on this. See you then!

Need a wife? Go for a Nigerian girl

Have you ever thought of getting a Nigerian girl for a wife? You are not  alone and you are not mistaken in that regard. You might be a foreigner living or working in Nigeria. Or it might be you are in your home country over there in US, UK, Asia, Australia or in the Caribbean. On the other hand, you might be an African either  from Ghana, Kenya, Cameroun or South Africa. Or maybe you are a Nigerian guy, at home or in the Diaspora, contemplating marriage. Whichever category you belong, whatever nationality, race or background, I can tell you it’s an amazing experience to be married to a Nigerian girl. And this for good reason.  

It is something I know that Nigerian girls are some of the best girls in the world in very many respects. For those of you guys who have got the opportunity of working in Nigeria or visiting the country, you must be conversant with the social life of Nigerians, especially the good natured mannerisms displayed by these girls. You know, sometimes, there are instances of some men who come to Nigeria to work only to bid their spouses goodbye effectively putting an end to their marital relationship due to the “sweetness” of their affair with a Naija girl. As much as I don’t support such conduct, I think it speaks volumes of what a Nigerian girl represents in terms of fascinating a man’s mind.

Generally speaking, an average Nigerian girl is groomed from birth to be everything a man would expect of a woman and a wife. She is taught to cook, to wash, to keep house and to do a lot of other things that home-keeping requires. They become very proficient with as many dishes and cuisines as possible. From native Nigerian dishes to African and continental dishes, she is horned in the preparation and presentation to her guests. She is taught table manners, etiquette, home-making and men management, so to speak. Hardly you find a Nigerian girl that doesn’t know what it takes to keep her man at home and comfortable. This is something you find in every part of Nigeria.

From the girls in the riverine communities of the Niger Delta to the Fulani cattle- rearers daughters in Sokoto. Go from Obudu Ranch in Ogoja to the River Niger in Onitsha; go on to Enugu in the Eastern heartland to the streets of Port Harcourt; continue your trip to the West and meet the Yoruba ladies in Lagos, follow them to Ibadan, then move from Ilorin into Kogi and into the Middle-belt and meet the women of Idoma, Langtang, Gboko and Makurdi and trace your path into Kano, Kaduna and arrive in Dutse: you would have had a refreshing feel of what feminine beauty abounds in the Heart of Africa – Nigeria. You would then agree with me that Nigeria isn’t the giant of Africa for nothing. She has what it takes to retain that title at least with regards to feminine gems. 

Whether they are clad in native Nigerian attires or Western costumes they exude such beauty that would make any man’s head spin. Individually and collectively, Nigerian girls know how to adorn themselves and bring out the best of that beauty the feminine folk possess. It doesn’t matter where you meet them, be it in a typical rural community in Igbo land, in the busy streets of New York, in the snow-fleeced shores of Reykjavik or at the busy markets of Dubai, you will never miss out on what I’m telling you about Nigerian girls’ knack for fashion. Infact, their fashion consciousness is unrivalled. Have you checked the runways recently?

Their suits are superb. Talk of their wrappers (Hollandies, Akwete, Brocade, Jacquard, Ankara, etc), blouses (plain or beaded), skirts (long, short, straight, pleated, or whatever style), cardigans, lingerie or any other clothes they put on is always right on them. Have you checked on their jewellery – bangles, earrings, necklaces, rings, trinkets, pendants, etc? You would be stunned to see how snug their footwear – high-heeled or low-heeled shoes, moccasin, sandals, etc and even their perfumes are always superb on them. You won’t regret putting your money on them because for sure they’ll so radiate so much beauty that you’ll wonder if you shouldn’t have done more.

What can we say of the self-confidence and unassuming mien of an average Naija girl. She knows how to switch modes of attitudes to please you at all costs. A Nigerian girl is never the type to shift grounds when she knows there’s nothing to lose.

Lest I forget, Nigerian girls hardly get sick, so you won’t have to bother about being hooked with a sickler. Even HIV finds them tough to handle. Remember I’m not asking you to go play with them without a condom. Never leave your condom at home, especially if you met her at Allen Avenue or any other red light district in Nigeria or elsewhere. I can’t vouch for what happens or does not happen. All I know is that you’ll have a good time.

From the foregoing you can see why I am optimistic about guys from every part of the world shopping for wives from Nigeria. Naija girls already have the background information, knowledge and expertise to cater to any man’s need, be it culinary, marital, sexual or circumstances. They can fit in to your life for good and make you happy real good.

Now that we’ve got through the fundamental issues about the suitability and marketability of a Nigerian girl let me state that they are not for sale or trafficking. It is not only a crime against the sovereignty and dignity of Nigeria as a nation and her people but also a crime against humanity for anyone to engage Nigerian girls or any girl for that matter (underaged or overaged) in human trafficking, prostitution, drug deals or whatever else that is unconscionable.

So how do you go about getting a Nigerian girl for a wife? Well, not much. Just a few easy steps: You can walk into any Nigerian mission in any country and request for information regarding Nigerian girls and you can walk out with enough contact information for as many ladies as you would want to stake your luck on.

You could also go to any Internet dating sites (Date.com, adultfriendfinder.com, etc), get registered and check in your preferences (for Nigerian ladies) and you can be inundated with as many profiles of members from Nigeria. You’ll find a bevy of beauties waiting for you to reach out to them and change your life for good.

Still you could use any of the messenger facilities (Yahoo Messenger, MSN Messenger, etc) on the Internet to connect with and chat with as many ladies as you can find. Who knows you could be on to something real good, like a lifetime experience.

You could be invited to Nigeria to come take one of these jewels to your home country. Or if you prefer to stay around, you stand the opportunity of benefiting from lots of privileges available to foreigners. In many communities in Nigeria, it is customary to allocate land to a daughter of the soil for her spouse who is a foreigner to develop for residential and/or commercial purposes. You also stand the opportunity of being privileged to be made a title citizen of the community where you reside and do business or even be awarded a national honour. The advantages of marrying a Nigerian girl are limitless, no inexhaustible.

I am personally inviting all you guys – American, British, French, Spanish, Dutch, Asian, etc – to take the next flight to Nigeria and you’ll never regret your quest. Get a Nigerian girl now!

SALUTE TO IBANIERUBO!

A unique species I must say. But why were they here? All hurdled under one canopy with the inscription: AMAOPUERE! Nineteen of the twenty-one listed. Resplendent in that unique, pristine form of attire that bespeaks that dignity that stood the Ibani nation out in the comity of ethnic nationalities, they radiate the arena with feminine fragrance.
Some huge and heavy, others slim and lissome, but yet exuding the dignity characteristic of Ibaniere. A mixture of age and youth assuming a common ground as they converge under that canopy. The elders patting the shoulders of the younger and the younger exhibiting deference for the elders. But why, in a masculine-oriented society would these constitute a significant aspect of the coronation anniversary of the foremost of Niger Delta monarchs?
The fifty-first week of 2007 (17th through 24th December) was set aside for the tenth coronation anniversary of King Edward Asiminikarama William Dappa-Pepple III, Perekule XI, CON, JP, Amanyanabo of Grand Bonny Kingdom, and Chairman, Rivers State Council of Traditional Rulers. It was marked by pomp and pageantry. But most importantly, it marked the bringing to reality of the long overdue yearnings of the Bonny people, viz, the precarious need for social amenities in diverse parts of Bonny local government area. It became imperative, with the increase in the presence and business transaction of oil and gas multinationals in the area, that the kingdom witnessed the translation of their corporate social responsibilities into physical developmental realities.
Given this, the anniversary celebration became a threshold of actualizing most, if not all of the MOU projects agreed on between the community and the Joint Industry Companies (JIC). These included the construction of roads and bridges, electric power supply through gas turbine system, water supply, upgrade of medical and educational facilities, provision of micro-credit scheme for small-scale indigenous business people and scholarship for students in tertiary institutions and the maritime academy, Oron, employment generation, development of recreational facilities, nature park, et al.
One sad aspect of the epochal event was the laying to rest of the demised Prime Minister of the kingdom, Chief Donald Manilla-Pepple. With tremendous equanimity, the last respects were accorded the late chief by the King, Chiefs and people. And then the celebration began with its high point being the investiture of the Ibani National Awards on worthy citizens of the kingdom.
This particular Thursday was blessed by the bliss of sunshine. Guests began pouring into the arena – the legendary Ikuba Square – as early as 7.00AM. Soon two great monarchs were to grace the occasion with their majestic presence – the Obi of Onitsha and the Amanyanabo of Opobo, King Dandeson Douglas Jaja, JP, Jeki V. Even the two Yoruba men saddled with the security of the LGA – Temi Omojola, CSP, of the Nigeria Police and his colleague of the SSS were on hand with their men to ensure a hitch-free ceremony. There were captains of industry, representatives of foreign governments, religious bodies, socio-cultural groups, the media, etc.
The roll call of citizens to be honoured under the current edition of the Ibani National Awards included 52 Amaopuseniapu (7 posthumously) and 38 Amaseniapu (1 posthumously). These were honourable gentlemen who have supposedly made their mark in their chosen endeavours – intellectually, professionally, business-wise, even in military service. They were to be conferred with the honour they deserve, but more than that they were to be saddled with the task of being co-trustees, co-sureties with the King and his chiefs of the welfare of the kingdom. They were to become co-custodians of the values, lores, norms, traditions, culture, and greatness of the ancient kingdom of Grand Bonny.
And so we converge at the agelong arena – Ikuba Square – that has come to represent for the Ibani nation what the Areopagus or Mars Hill symbolized for the Athenians. We come from all walks of life. We come from all over the world. We come with our friends, colleagues, neighbors, all.
We presently observe these particular set of individuals. They’re women and they’re here for real. They are listed to be honoured. Some then ask, why women? Risking the prospect of being tagged with gender bias or worse still a feminist; I attempt some explanation to their question.
These women have carved a niche for themselves in terrains, turfs monopolized by men. They have walked tall where even men with all their presence of mind have dreaded to tread. They have flown the flag of the Ibani nation in different arenas, even on the international stage. Check out the intimidating resumes they showcase: Okereke-Onyiuke was at the New York Stock Exchange as a director, presently, added to being the director-general of Nigerian Stock Exchange, she is Chairman of Transnational Corporation (Transcorp); Kurubo, wife of the first Nigerian indigenous Airforce general, was at the Rivers State Broadcasting Corporation as director-general, she later served as Nigeria’s ambassador to Trinidad and Tobago; Amal Pepple, an intellectual of repute who has served in various tertiary institutions in Nigeria is now a permanent secretary; Dames William-Jumbo and Willie-Pepple are successfully running their hotel businesses; Siene for years beautified our TV screens during her days at the Nigerian Television Authority. She is, presently, NLNG’s company-community anchor reducing, infact obliterating any form of friction between the company and her host/GTS communities. She even adds to that enormous responsibility the role of editor-in-chief of the NLNG media apparati; Ofili is in the Rivers State government as commissioner for women affairs and youth development making significant strides in upping the odds, bettering the lot and advancing the cause of Rivers women, her youth notwithstanding; Jamaica brought about the revolution that saved GGSS, Finima from moral decadence at a critical point of her existence when prostitution almost overtook the institution; she was there to help set up Community Secondary School, Bonny; Lucille Education Center is her brainchild and even the Bonny Historical Society has benefited immensely from her inexhaustible resourcefulness.
We can go on and on analyzing the credentials of these great women and discover the monumental strides they have made and how much they have contributed to the land of their nativity. They are all involved in the development and management of the human resource potentials Providence has placed within their spheres of influence and they are not doing badly. Added to their professional and business responsibilities, they successfully manage their homes.
These women represent womanhood in the Ibani nation and womanhood in general. They symbolize the struggles of Ibaniere to preserve moral values, intellectual excellence, business success, service to motherland and service to humanity as a whole. They represent the evolution of society from the backwaters of ignorance, underdevelopment, prejudice, and self-annihilation to the frontburners of modernity and all it represents.
Africa and Nigeria in particular maybe plagued by male-chauvinism. May be gender-based issues as it favours the feminine folk may be relegated to the background, even key political, religious and traditional positions, responsibilities and their accruing benefits maybe set aside for the masculine gender while the less relevant and inconsequential roles are outsourced to the women. But the African eye still takes cognizance of extra-ordinary achievements, especially such as emanates from the most unexpected of places.
That these women are spotted and included in the roll call of recipients of this year’s national awards speaks volumes not just of their achievement but also for the keen sightedness of the custodians of the awards – the King, his chiefs, the elders and people of Bonny kingdom. It is only an observant and conscientious parent who seeks out good deeds in his children to reward. And I must say that rewards don’t only say “Welldone!” they also say “Carry on!” “Keep it up!” It goes a long way to place the people of this ancient kingdom in the good stead as those who observe and reward service, excellence, nobility of character and all the other qualities that enhance the worth of a civilized society.
For these women to have, in their various ways, combined their strive for excellence with the agelong responsibilities of keeping family, raising kids, and other extraneous roles society has saddled them with and yet not complaining, but instead asking for more and more responsibilities stands them out as worthy ambassadors of this great kingdom.
Some are into politics, some into business, some teaching, some into other endeavours, but yet they are professional home makers and keepers, responsible wives, and a remarkable testament to the strength, courage and fortitude the spirit of the Bonny woman is imbued with. I can say for sure as for that which Shaggy refers to in his music as “The Strength of a Woman!” the Ibanierubo (Bonny woman) has so much of it. I know because I was raised by one of them. Yours sincerely joins the Ibani nation to applaud the pristine, courageous and resourceful femininity Ibanierubo symbolizes.

LETTER TO THE AMANYANABO OF GRAND BONNY

I deem it necessary to commend Your Majesty on the success of the just concluded 10th Anniversary celebrations commemorating a decade of your reign on the throne of your ancestors.
A decade on the throne of the kingdom of Grand Bonny, in my opinion, is not and seldom can be an easy or smooth run given the inevitable imperatives it places at the foot of the incumbent monarch. These imperatives include but are not limited to the onus of satisfying the fundamental aspirations of your subjects; preserving the sanctity, dignity and integrity of the office you occupy; preserving the sanctity of age-old customs, traditions, norms, lores, etc of the land; managing the diverse interests, pressures and elements pervading the kingdom; acting up to the demands of being the service brand of the kingdom; integrating into a common front the political, traditional, religious, social, cultural and economic dynamics and ideologies thriving in the kingdom for the common good; and creating a true home for the Ibaniawo both those at home and in the Diaspora.
These do not seem to be an easy task even for the brave-hearted, at least not in my purview. That you have been able not only to thrive but excel in many respects with regards to the afore-mentioned particulars sets you forth as a budding achiever and with youth on your side, the horizon holds tremendous promise and opportunities for the kingdom and her people.
To the politicians would have been directed the issues being conveyed through the vehicle of my pen to Your Majesty’s doorstep. But the interests they represent and must perpetually patronize gives them away as relatively unqualified to address these issues.
The fact remains that though Your Majesty is, by virtue of age, still in the arena of youth, your youth does not obliterate the fact of your fatherhood of this kingdom consequent upon your being, in the present and near future, the Amanyanabo (owner, ruler, and leader) of the kingdom. That office confers on you the responsibility of rulership of the indigent and the resident and even of the itinerant. Moreso, the integrity, dignity and sanctity associated with the throne you occupy elevates you above primordial interests and leanings, be they political, religious, social, personal or otherwise. Put in another way, you are to subscribe loyalty only to God and the land and people the almighty God, through tradition, heredity and providence, has ordained you to serve. You are to be nobody’s slave but everybody’s servant!
By reason of the leadership that office has vested on you, you are to be for the kingdom and her people a service brand, a trailblazer, pacesetter, frontrunner, role-model and point of convergence.
In the decade that has seen you on the throne; I reckon you now assume a consensus with me on the following:
• That sycophancy is a great distraction to leadership given that loyalty when driven to a blind extreme (as is true of sycophancy) can be disturbingly nauseating and worse still counterproductive.
• That self-deceit is the bane of progress, development and achievement consequent upon the fact that until we (on the individual and community levels) divorce ourselves from our illusions, we will continue to lose touch with reality. I state this in respect of putting the destiny of this kingdom in the hands of multinationals. It is trite to aver that the agents of neocolonialism will seldom be distracted from their murderous economic agenda by any form of pressure from ethnic nationalities, minority groups or local communities in the third world to fully discharge their corporate social responsibilities, not with the government at the center being their reluctant protégé. We can make the most of what we make them deliver but the earlier we look inwards, the better for us.
• That concern for the assuaging of the needs of Your Majesty’s subjects will naturally activate valuable ideas that would engender positive transformation of the land and her people.
Done with preambles, I ordain to advance through this medium certain salient issues critically relevant to the Ibani nation.
Paramount among these is the flooding debacle witnessed annually by the inhabitants of the island. The factors that give strength to this monster include the abject lack of a functional drainage system; blocking of natural evacuation channels from the intra-city swamps and the Burrow-pit along New Road; the shoddy and substandard road system built for us by the quislings of this nation upon being awarded road construction contracts; etc.
Ordinarily, those who know in the environmental management sector would maintain that we are encircled by many bodies of water suits us well to be free of flooding problems. All there is needed is for a sound drainage system to convey the various accumulations out into the rivers and creeks. The Burrow-pit at New Road has over the years become a critical eyesore. That body of water that could serve many ends (tourist, economic, agricultural, etc) has become a reluctant liability. It has become a reservoir of contaminated and toxic water; a convenience facility; a geographical anomaly, an environmental menace to inhabitants of its precincts; and a waste.
This wastage could be redeemed, Your Majesty, through some simple initiatives, viz: an all-round feasibility study on its viability for economic and other ends; a censure of dumping of wastes and refuse into it; draining of the toxic water therein into the Bonny river through its flow-out channel which runs through the back of GGSS, Finima out to Park community where it connects the main river; canalization of that channel down to the sea; fencing it out; and outsourcing it to a tourist firm is all that is needed to transform it into an economically lucrative phenomenon.
On the other hand, it could be drained of water, sandfilled and sold out to inhabitants to develop into residential and commercial purposes. Other options still, include sandfilling it and utilizing it for the siting of an ultra-modern civic center, stadium or sports complex, etc.
Another issue that is of utmost importance to the average indigene is the proposed Ring Road that was supposed to connect the various villages and towns that constitute this kingdom and the Bonny-Bodo Roads and Bridges that was supposed to connect us to the outside world. It still baffles and conjures up questions in my mind whatever happened to these hugely beneficial projects. Those of us who have a predilection for the rural localities that shaped our childhood retain a mental disconnect with our villages and ordinarily would favour the opening up of the hinterland.
Roads, being the primary conveyor of development, would serve us well were this projects executed. The plusses for the kingdom are unquantifiable; from whatever perspective you consider it. Our villages would be accessible (just as it is presently with Akiama, Oguede and Abalamabie communities); development will spread speedily into the hinterland; there would be a decongesting of the mainland as indigenes relocate to their hometowns and villages attracting with them developmental projects; and also there would be an unravellng of the latent potentials and tourist sites yet undiscovered in the hinterland.
As for the Bonny-Bodo Road, we would be able to drive into town from Port Harcourt anytime without being afraid of whatever dangers the marine route is likely to hold. The myriad opportunities that road would afford us are tremendous.
The issue of a landing jetty is next on my list. It is unnecessary to suffer while one has the wherewithal to be happy. With the status of Bonny on the national, continental and international spheres, it is unbecoming that travelers would almost have to swim out of the boats that convey them down here from Port and wherever else they are coming from. A landing jetty that is of the very best standards needs urgently to be installed at the waterfront at Bonny and even at Port Harcourt so that travelers would be spared this unnecessary nightmare.
Given the integrity of the indigenes, the overwhelming presence of multinationals and the place of Bonny in the economic equation of this nation, it reeks of an irony why this kingdom would lag behind in development.
With all due respect, Your Majesty, by the standards of development best practices around the world, the Ibani nation is not at its best. Observe, Your Majesty, that even at this moment, the questions of adequate and conducive housing; clean and accessible drinking water; adequate and affordable health-care at the primary and secondary levels; functional and empowerment-oriented educational system; transportation system; security; and result-oriented governance are yet unanswered.
Even on the socio-cultural front: we lack a thriving local dialect that is universal to all natives both at home and in the Diaspora; we are yet to have the Holy Bible in the Ibani language despite being Christianity’s first port of call in Nigeria; the history of the Ibani nation is yet to assume a streamlined narrative that is commonly accepted and authenticated by all authorities concerned with it.
What more? On the local setting, the population of the island is on the rise with the dynamics of high population density (such as the subsuming of the indigenous language, rise in crime rate, congestion, air and noise pollution, etc) playing out before our very eyes.
I do not intend, Your Majesty, to raise these issues to the end of engendering a pessimistic mindset or outlook but to x-ray the current situation and thus instigate an urgent and positive response to them. The issues raised in this letter are not impossible cases or no-win situations. They are problems that are solvable. With the right attitude, will-power, intelligence gathering, intellectual research aimed at finding ways to address this issues, resource mobilization, networking and partnerships among stakeholders, some measure of patriotism and exemplary leadership these and other problems bedeviling this kingdom could become milestones to our development. The land of Bonny could be so transformed that it could become an investors’ haven, a tourists’ attraction and a true point of convergence to the Ibaniawo at home and in the Diaspora.
It is my opinion, Your Majesty, that my concerns have been addressed to the appropriate quarters with the understanding that the throne on which you sit has been endowed with wisdom to make the best decisions for the overall good of this kingdom.
May Your reign continue to be blissful and productive!